Thursday, May 19, 2016

Thrifting: Oversized clothespin, a rock, and a mobile obscenity

On my way to the thrift store I stopped by Target and seized the opportunity to flip off one of the “Flush Target” semis. Compared to the eight foot tall Fuck You emblazoned on the side of the thing, my gesture of pulling up beside him and extending a middle finger seems demure and polite. And never mind the notion of not spreading more hate around... If I'd noticed it from across the street and had no reason to go there, I would have gone out of my way to do the same thing. Though that would have been unlikely as these things are camouflaged to look like Target delivery trucks... presumably so they can park there and not immediately get noticed by staff and vanquished by police. I mean, I almost didn't see it and it was parked right in front of me.

Man, the thrift store was a bit of a fire trap today if I'm to be frank. They had shit piled up obstructing aisles, turning the place into a sort of maze so you had to find a way around to the shelves against the wall, essentially cornering yourself once you got back there. “Cluttered” is a good adjective. This seems to happen this time of year with people's spring cleaning. They gather up all the junk they've been picking up from second-hand stores and garage sales over the last few years and donate it in one or two massive SUV-loads. Then while they're there, they take the discount coupon they just earned and leave with as much as, if not more than they just dumped off.

On my quest to find the strangest and ugliest all I came up with today was a giant clothespin. 

Kinda disappointing, I know. But really, who doesn't love oversized and miniaturized common objects? It's actually completely functional and fairly useful. 

I'mma use it to close bags of chips!  Which may be what it was intended for.

And I found a rock for .50. 

I love rocks. Can't get enough of 'em. They're all over my house. Inside, not out, because someone might steal them or something. Why would they do that? I haven't the foggiest. It's just one of those irrational fears like alligators coming up the toilet or a bee getting inside.

Price of combined items with tax: $1.07.

Value of getting to demonstrate to a fear-mongering bigot exactly what I thought of him: I'm not sure. Would I actually pay actual money to do that? I haven't so far. I've never even thought of it. This could possibly be a lucrative entrepreneurial undertaking, and merits further looking into, running the numbers, creating business models and having t-shirts and merch made up... For someone else. I'll flip him off for free, but I'm too lazy to make a business out of it.  But seriously, fuck that guy and the big ugly truck he rode in on.

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